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This Week

The Tourism Board of Yemen

New Issue - Every Monday
Today is:: Did you take out the garbage yet?

WASHINGTON D.C.- George W. got a little closer to zeroing in on that pestering Iraqi fly about to land on his nose this week, until a certain someone got in the way....AGAIN.

"I heard Yemen is nice this time of year."

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - And rest assured, Dick Cheney has been assigned to some pretty treacherous duty...

"We are America, we don't throw in the towel. We make them to be thrown in...Um, maybe that's Koreans who make them."

DETROIT - Detroit makes a fleet of SUVs-- which sit waiting for the Persian Gulf to be dominated so they can breathe their first breath.

"Oil me... "

Is it any wonder why we're so loved in the world? Can't we agree that everyone is beautiful in their own way?

LOS ANGELES - While Rosie crashed and burned this past week, Oprah showed she still has the gift of gab and the ability to pop a Bono.

"I still HAVE found what I'm looking for, Bono."

UTAH - Speaking of Bono ornaments...

An fetish-explorer finally finds what he too has been looking for.

WASHINGTON D.C.- And just what part of Hussein's anatomy do you reckon C.P. wants in his hand?

"I can guarantee you a different Nutcracker Suite this Christmas."

CELL BLOCK C - Speaking of nuts...

The ballsy Men of Enron will take it anywhere they can get it. Now it's Playgirl time. Next: "Hello, Prison Bitch" time.

HOLLYWOOD - Mel tries to convey just how ludicrous it all is...

"Can you hear me now??? F*cking crazy society. Steal billions of dollars, be on the cover of Playgirl?!"

HUMBOLDT - Cheech and Chong and Coolio go for their Dawn Patrol ride...

"Hey Dawg, pass it over here, Dawg"

CHICAGO - This week featured a father/son "Take me out to the ball game" day in Chicago.

"F*ck the peanuts and crackerjacks! We wanna be on TV!"

Hey, it's America's game. Meaning it's for every last one of us to enjoy. That includes this Meth-head and his punk kid who jumped on to the field and attacked an innocent first base coach at a Sox game.

"We wouldn't have been here if Springer would have given us tickets! And to the President of the United States: I voted for you, you'd better kick some ass, fool."

The Prez wanted to make sure his fine constituents were appeased...

"Do I look like the kind of guy who would back down from a fight behind the tool shed, Slick?"

The Horny Men's Club

This week: "Ask Lust"
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