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Operation Enduring Freedom

Batman and Robin make sure their Mickey Mouse watches are synchronized, as they await the moment when Americans actually decide to fly again and jeopardize being shot down by our own forces. (No word on whether or not parachutes will be issued for all passengers.) Of course they also await the launch of Operation Enduring Freedom. Up until now, the Dynamic Duo have been surprisingly patient, proceeding with caution until their team of Bat Friends are in place and ready to infiltrate Afghanistan and "smoke out" the terrorists led by O-Sodomize bin Laden.

First to go into the fray, will be the Special Forces Unit out of New Jersey, the Soprano Crime Family, led my Tony Soprano himself. The "waste management business" includes going in to clear a direct path to Bin Laden by doing anything in their means, which includes breaking legs, crushing heads, whacking Taliban soldiers, or just supplying refugees with enough crack cocaine so that they won't go hungry. (Note: The fourth season of the Sopranos is subject to casting changes depending on availabilities of the actors.)
In the second wave, the Pentagon has decided to send in number one Survivor, and rogue homosexual, Richard Hatch, who promises that he will challenge Bin Laden to a Nude Sumo Wrestling competition, commit domestic assault, and bitch-slap Bin Laden back to the Dark Ages.

And to clean Afghanistan up once and for all, President Bush will send in one of his father's favorite entertainers, Miss Out on a Limb herself, Shirley MacClaine, who will astral project into the country, melt all the remaining weapons with her heart and all our foe's anger with her love.
To complete Operation Enduring Freedom, the President will assure all of Cindy Crawford's fans that she and her family are absolutely safe, and then appoint Barbra and Melanie to lead us all in a rousing rendition of "We Are the World," at which time the entire planet will return to peace and harmony for all eternity, and be free to open up a Starbuck's on any Afghanistan corner.
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