Joke of the Week

"I think we should attack Russia now. They'd never expect it."

George Carlin

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George Bush takes time off from his busy schedule to visit Strawberry Fields in NYC to pay tribute to another George. Bush pictured here playing finger cymbals and singing his new song, "Afghani Caves Forever."

Last week, joined by the First Lady, the president also had time to be interviewed by Barbara Walters. Below is an excerpt:
B.W. - So, Mr. & Mrs. President, since the horrendously awful, excruciatingly painful, tremendously heartbreaking day of 9-11…tell me…
I think the country is dying to know, How's your sex life?

G.B. - I'll tell you, Barbara, since those evil-doers did their evil, it's been phenomenon.

B.W. - You mean phenomenal, of course.

G.B. - That too.

B.W. - And for you, Mrs. First Lady? You do look radiant.

L.B. - (giggles) Thank you, Barbara. It's like my most powerful Pumpkin in the world said: Evil-doers bring us all a little closer together.

B.W. - Don't they though?

G.B. - You can remove your hand from my knee, Ms. Walters, we ain't goin' there. Faith Hill you ain't.
Congress recently passed a bill requiring U.S. citizens to remove all American flags from their vehicles. The Congress believes that if we don't get back to our regular driving routines, the terrorists win. Therefore, they encourage everyone to get back to the days of cutting your fellow drivers off in traffic, flipping them the bird, and engaging in gun battles whenever someone does the previously mentioned.
New Yorker, Cosimo Cavallaro takes the prize for the cheesiest and most asinine artist ever, laying claim to having first covered model Twiggy in cheese, and then an entire hotel room. Now Cavallaro--who explains his creative fetish away by brilliantly saying "It's milk, it's life"--is currently spraying a vacant house in Wyoming with 10,000 pounds of pepperjack cheese. Folks in Wyoming are said to be overjoyed that now instead of being known as redneck racists, they will be viewed as cultural trend setters. Plans to turn the entire State into one big fondue dip are in the works.
A radio broadcaster known as "Dave the Dwarf" has sued to overturn Florida's ban on "dwarf tossing," saying he should be allowed to decide for himself whether to participate in the barroom contests. "As soon as you have a physical handicap, all of the sudden they treat you like you don't have a mind of your own," Flood told the Tampa Tribune. "Just because I'm 3-foot-2 doesn't mean I can't make decisions." Mr. Dwarf's next decision is whether or not to be tossed through the friendly skies to another a country, so he can be cloned, ensuring the world that it will never be at a shortage for flying dwarfs.

Apparently the Juice is still on the loose, and the Feds are making sure to keep a sharp eye on him. In his latest brush with the law, O.J.'s Florida house was searched as part of an investigation into an Ecstasy drug ring. Pictured here, the Juice was ecstatic, not for being acquitted of a recent battery charge, but because he allegedly had figured out a scam to get more stupid white chicks to fall for him.
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